Why Your Best People Are Eyeing the Exit—And What to Do About It
Here’s a hard truth: Your biggest talent retention risk isn’t recruiters poaching your best people. It’s probably you.
Most leaders don’t think of themselves as the reason someone leaves. They believe the polite, indirect explanations they hear when an employee puts in their notice:
“It’s just time for a new challenge.”
“I got an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.”
“This was a really tough decision.”
And sure, sometimes that’s true. But we also know—intellectually, from years of research, and from a cliché we hear all the time—that most employees don’t leave jobs, they leave managers.
That doesn’t mean only bad managers. In fact, most managers aren’t terrible. They’re not toxic, they’re not screaming at employees, they’re not micromanaging every second of the day.
So… what does that tell you?
It means even good managers—leaders who care about their teams—are still missing something big.
It’s not about whether your people like you.
It’s about whether they see a future with you.
A Story of Preventable Loss
I recently worked with a high-potential director of operations at a tech company. She was exactly the kind of leader organizations should be fighting to keep—strategic, committed, and deeply invested in the company’s success.
Her long-term goal? To become a COO, ideally at the company she had already given years of her career to.
My advice? Tell your boss. Be open about your ambitions.
Her hesitation was immediate: What if he sees me as a threat?
And when I later brought up succession planning with her boss, his response sealed the deal:
“I don’t see the point in having that conversation. I’m not going anywhere.”
And just like that, a leader who wanted to stay got the message loud and clear:
If I want to grow, I’ll have to leave.
Why Leaders (Even Great Ones) Push Top Talent Away
No leader wakes up and thinks, How can I push my best people out the door today? But many do it anyway—just in more subtle ways.
Some see a direct report’s ambition as a threat.
Some get so caught up in the day-to-day that they don’t think about long-term development.
Some assume that if people want to grow, they’ll ask.
But here’s the problem: When people don’t see a path forward, they won’t always fight for one. They’ll just go find one somewhere else.
The irony? The leaders most afraid of “losing” talent by developing them are the ones who lose them the fastest.
If you want to keep top performers, you have to make growth an active part of how you lead. Here’s how:
1. Development Isn’t Training—It’s Growth
Too many leaders think that sending someone to a leadership course or signing them up for a webinar checks the box on development.
That’s not development.
Development is actual growth. It’s the real, visible change in skills, mindset, and behaviors.
Development is integrated into the job. It’s not something to do on top of real work—it’s part of how work gets done.
Development is measured by outcomes. It’s not just what someone learned—it’s what they can now do better.
This is where the 70-20-10 Rule comes in:
📌70% of development happens through real, on-the-job experiences. Stretch assignments, leading new projects, problem-solving in real-time.
📌20% happens through relationships. Mentorship, feedback, networking, coaching conversations.
📌10% happens through formal learning. Classes, books, certifications, and training.
2. Build a Culture of Growth—Not Just When There’s “Time”
A lot of companies say they invest in employee development, but few actually do it well.
The best leaders don’t treat development as something to do on top of the day job—or when there’s extra time. It’s baked in, planned, and measured.
Development isn’t an optional add-on. It’s an expectation.
Growth plans are as structured as business goals—with clear milestones.
Employees are held accountable for their own development, just as they are for their job performance.
If development isn’t prioritized, it doesn’t happen.
3. Engage Your Own Superiors in Development & Succession Planning
Great leaders don’t just develop their people—they make sure their own leaders know they’re doing it.
High-retention leaders:
Keep senior leadership informed about their talent pipeline.
Advocate for high-potential employees when opportunities arise.
Ensure development isn’t just a team-level effort—it’s recognized at the organizational level.
When senior leaders know you’re actively building a strong team, they see you as someone ready for bigger responsibilities.
4. Accept That Some People Will Leave Anyway—And That’s OK
Here’s another fear I hear all the time:
“What if I develop them, but they leave?”
My response? They’ll leave anyway if they don’t see a future with you.
The real question is:
📢Do you want them to leave feeling supported, advocating for your leadership, and potentially returning later?
📢Or do you want them to leave frustrated, telling everyone else there was no future for them at your company?
The leaders most known for developing talent are also the ones who attract it.
What Message Are You Sending?
If you’re a leader, ask yourself:
Are we developing the next generation of leaders, or unintentionally pushing them away?
✔️Do our high-potential employees see a future here, or will they have to leave to grow?
✔️How many of our current leaders were developed internally vs. hired externally?
✔️Are my own superiors aware of the succession plans I have in place?
Great leaders don’t just lead for today.
They build for tomorrow.
Are you?